" Are you the SAT because I’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a 10 minute break halfway through for snacks, and then I can stare at you for like 10 minutes and think ‘wow, I hope I don’t ruin this.’ "

falloutnovelli:

vikingsrph:

I AM ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN

I AM ALLOWED TO CRY OVER SIMPLE THINGS

I AM FULLY AWARE THAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE PROBLEMS TOO AND THEY ARE PROBABLY WORSE OFF THAN I AM

DO NOT REMIND ME OF THAT WHEN I AM UPSET

MY FEELINGS ARE VALID

I AM ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN

WHAT IS SIMPLE TO YOU COULD BE STRESSFUL TO ME

STOP TELLING ME TO THINK ABOUT PEOPLE THAT HAVE IT WORSE

STOP STOP STOP

THIS IS IMPORTANT

(via postulation)

warsquirtle:

Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life

(Source: wartortles, via phobias)

slayboybunny:

"sir what you did is literally 100 percent illegal"
"ok but get this: im a rich white person" 
"oh sorry about that sir" 

(via orgasm)